I still recall I attended a wedding several years ago now, where the bride’s parents had been divorced when she was very young, but the bride’s father could not do a speech at his daughter’s wedding such as what is animosity towards his ex-wife some 20 years later. This had a detrimental effect on the bride as from a young age she was exposed to her parent’s animosity.
Resolution, which is an organisation for professionals, such as Lawyers, Judges, Coaches and Mediators who believe that a non-confrontational approach to family issues such as divorce, child arrangements, breakdown in relationships and dissolution of civil partnerships achieves a better outcome for the family as the whole in the long run.
I am a proud member of Resolution and many new clients are surprised when I inform them that while I will be working with them to achieve the fairest outcome for them, on their behalf, I also aim to make sure that in the future their working relationship with the other person is not damaged so that they can maintain an amicable, co-parenting relationship. I am very aware that Solicitors will not be involved with both my client and the family as a whole in the long term and it is important that while robustly acting on your client’s behalf, to not lose sight of the long term.
It is important for anyone who believes their relationship, marriage or civil partnership may have difficulties to obtain legal advice as soon as possible. This helps as then you are aware of the legal stance, we can discuss practical next steps; of which there is always the option of doing nothing; and to focus on what you want to achieve both in the short and long term. This of course is different for everyone.
I am not saying this will be easy, and there will be times along the course of our professional relationship where I will need to be more tenacious with the other party on your behalf, or in fact prevent you from going down what one of my clients recently called #dramatrap, with no positive possible solutions to that road and bringing her back to focus on the important parts. Of course, this also relies on the other party and their legal representatives from also approaching the situation in a similar fashion; taking the conflict out of the situation. Sadly, I have had to advise clients in difficult circumstances, and in situations where heated discussions have ensued as to the division of the contents of the family home – including on one occasion my client informed me either he or his estranged wife could keep the dining table and 3 chairs (of a large table with 6 chairs), he did not get to finish that sentence as I warned him that it was becoming acrimonious and that of course what would be happening would be either he or his wife would have the table and the chairs as a set – would he like to propose he retains this or her? This of course is a far cry from the perception of Family Solicitors and lawyers in general from TV shows such as The Split.
Resolution has produced a free downloadable guide for separating families which offers practical tips on how to achieve an amicable separation which can be downloaded here:
https://resolution.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/Parenting-through-separation-guide.pdf
If you or anyone you know requires advice regarding a separation or resolving a child arrangement dispute, please contact me, Jennifer Lee, Family Solicitor for expert advice on 01256 320 555 or via email mail@clarkeandson.co.uk.
